Writeera

"Tobi, what about that your babe na?" "Which babe? Are you mad?" "Ahn, ahn, why are you shouting? Me i’m not mad o, that girl na, Ngozi abi ki loruko eh?" "Wo, she’s not my babe o, girl e ti ya werey" "Eh?" "Eba, shey you din hear? I say she have craze, she almost stab oga landlord, she even broke his my TV that I on credit, me i’m still paying gbese, she’s not my anything abeg" "Ahn ahn, Segun, that quiet girl, what did you people do to her?" "Which one is you people? Farabale o, see how you just concluded that i did something like jumping frog" "Wo, ode talk" "Eh, shey you know that i’m bisexual, she say that me and oga landlord we’re doing...shino" "Eh? but oga landlord is not gay na" "Shey i’m telling you that she’s mad, come and see how his wife was shouting eh" "But why would she think that, ahn ahn, something must have made her thing like that,...

"There are a lot of evil people in this world, people like that usher that likes seizing phone–nonsense woman–your math teacher that said if you don't know calcus you'll never get into uni–shey you've entered school and she's still teaching that mumu subject, nonsense! That evil woman that tried to make you right handed when you were left handed, the people selling fanta 150, that woman that told me to take "two money" and collected my big money (Thunder will fire this one), Desmond Elliot and that mumu Elon Mustapha that is using your binance to play, shey if you too you're not a mumu you'll use the money and buy Amala from mummy Taofeek and you'll know that you enjoyed yourself, eh eh as i was saying, people are evil in this world o but nobody beats those monsters that text you "We need to talk" This sentence was made by the devil himself, shey izz this sentence that they use and break my heart, God will still punish Fe...

Good roads we don't have, bad governance everywhere, poverty, climate, see ehn, Nigeria is the only reason you're not fine. Nigeria has made it a plan to ruin my life but God is by my side, I cannot allow myself to be used. Everyday there's a new story, i'm switching on the TV hoping to finally get good news, but no! It's always the same story, but someone different, another Ngozi has been kidnapped, another Femi left for work but didn't come home, another lockdown, another fraud case, another rape incident, same story everyday. I got the idea for this piece this morning, i went outside to get airtime and on my way, i saw some men sitted at a shop were they sold local gin "hot" and they were having an argument on which they were going to get. I was surprised, wasn't it too early for "Men" to be drinking? I can't even blame Nigeria again i blame Nigerians. As at 2018 the population in Nigeria was 195.9 million and the worki...